"As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it." - Dick Cavett
"When I give a lecture, I accept that people look at their watches, but what I do not tolerate is when they look at it and raise it to their ear to find out if it stopped." - Marcel Achard
"There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, "Yes," you know he is a crook." - Groucho Marx